She takes a moment for herself, slightly exhaling, as she applies black liner with a shaky hand. Sweeping her brush upwards over one lid, she stops, to study her far from meticulous work. Dissatisfied again, she re-dips her instrument into the dark kohl, this time determined to perfectly pull upwards, to get that wide-eyed, cat-eye - a look she seems to be partial to these days. " Next time..." she sighs through the mascara wand balancing precariously between her teeth. Accepting defeat wasn't her forte.
She often missed the feel of her long silky locks brushing against her breast. It had always given her a peculiar and irrational rush of confidence. Now a messy mop of dark silk crowned her head, with the occasional rebellious strands that strayed a while, seduced by her slender, mocha neck. She flicked back the strays, clicking her tongue in annoyance, as she painted her perfect pout scarlet. She definitely hadn't lived or loved much, however one thing she was absolutely certain about was her love for red. She grinned consciously at her reflection, accepting the simple fact, the colour made her pop.
She waited, staring blankly into her small pool of expresso, that rippled slightly, in rhythm to her monotonous breathing. Distracted by the sudden distortion she caused, she placed the cup on the table in front of her. The air was thick, wrapped in a suffocating duvet of humidity. She absentmindedly wiped a pearl of sweat that leisurely trickled down the curve of her high cheek bone. It had long passed the peppered freckles by her right eye, and was making its way down to join the slightly darker mole by her lips. Obviously the mission had now been severely compromised.
She shook her head, discouraging these silly thoughts that constantly made her think. She thought too much. Thinking was her speciality. She majored in it at the tender age of ten, way back then,when her eyes were still genuinely bright. The voices would whisper little nothings into her ear, which would rush hungrily through it's deep cavities and tunnels, finally arriving at her brain. The warmth of young, innocent blood pumping in various chambers of developing grey cells was too tempting for them to leave. It was from that moment onward her smooth, petit forehead learned to crumple and fold. They needed to be fed, and she had been brought up to always be the perfect host.
It was now pitch dark. Some like to quote that "Time and tide wait for no man", but she hadn't even noticed when the pale, fluffy sky had morphed into it's inky depths. A few conspicuous stars blinked back at her, as if in consolation of her dazed state. A tungsten bulb flickered on in the distance, as she grimaced at her untouched beverage. Pushing it away, she slowly stood up, brushing down imaginary crumbs from her cotton top, a distinctive habit of hers. The atmosphere had thinned down considerably, as she stretched her arms into it, breathing in its toxic medley into her lungs. She needed the thin rush of oxygen to gush into her system, and clear the stale fog that clouded her mind. Air -- she literally needed to come up for air.
She shook her dense mane, exhaling to what sounded like a low growl that rumbled in her throat. Her once honey eyes now loomed grey and murky with the growing silence. She had never enjoyed packing up anything, be it clothes, cartons, or even little boxes- the monotony of the very action repelled her very core. Nonetheless, reason had bottled up all instinct letting it layer and grow with time, leaving petrified impressions in what had now become a collection of fossilized emotions. She didn't like to admit it, but by default she was an expert. No intelligent being would debate these skills, as proof clearly showed she was a professional packer.
Picking up her lead limbs, she dragged herself out of the dying cafe. Hours had passed since she had nervously powdered her face, and sprayed on his favourite fragrance. With time she had grown to like it too- a splash of sweet vanilla blended with feisty hibiscus- she smelled warm and delicious. The soft street lights beckoned her forward, motivating her every step. Free motivation was never to be denied, even she knew that, so she strolled on in trance, graciously accepting whatever she had been served.
After what seemed like forever, she finally reached her destination. Tall monoliths, a mish-mash of architectural styles swallowed her. Their sudden appearance snapped her out of her daze, making way for frustration, as she automatically fished into her purse for keys.
"Hmmm...my favourite.." he smiled, opening the door before she had the chance to try.
She smiled back mechanically, accepting the peck that was directed to her sulky cheek.
"Where did you go? I missed you.." he said in a voice that sounded miles apart.
She felt cold inside, despite the thick layer of dampness that was slowly suffocating the general atmosphere. At this level, she thought aimlessly, her night brought in temperatures cool enough to bring the snow.
She shuddered slightly as she sank back onto the mattress, pulling her knees to her chest. Eyes closed, she ran her tapering fingers over the smooth dome of her head, as though that might calm the the cyclone of thoughts raging within. Everything felt wrong, including the beautiful man that lay calm in sleep besides her. She envied his regular purring breaths, as she imagined him care-free and frolicking in a complete parallel sphere of dreams. It wasn't fair, but she had grown to repulse this same simplicity that had once drawn, and charmed her completely in. Everyone around her would blame it on nerves, or the stress of daily life; so she would nod and lie to herself to embrace the dished-out logic . However deep down she knew something more. She knew that whatever was sprouting, swelling, and developing within her was wrong. When the lights were out, and she just lay there, she would convince herself otherwise, comforted by the velvety darkness. But in the clear light of day, when the sun's rays viciously tickled her skin, she knew. There was something cold growing inside her. She knew. She could feel it.
